Life as I Know it (Aspiration, Pray, Work, and Love)

Assalammu’alaikum wr. wb.

End of this month I am gonna celebrate my 3,5 decades of life & the journey of living. It’s been historical (to me), about which unfortunately I didn’t write  so much in the past (and perhaps just a glimpse today),  so my recollection of the past event remained hidden in the treasury of my life.  I really believe that I &  my generation are facing a very challenging time today,  so much going on that you can hardly name,  yeah you know what I’m talking about, but even worse that  every now and then money (and the derivation of it) is growing to become a much  higher stake  in life (Some said, “money is not everything in life but you need money to live — what an irony!) and I wish I could get away from it.  People everywhere are feeling the pinch of the situation to a degree I have never seen before. Happiness is a rare word, Idealism is far too complex to understand.  But in fact these 2 (two) concepts can be built upon true aspirations.  But somehow  we can and will  work our ways up to close in the gap between the reality and the true aspirations.  And for that, I am thankful and  the next best thing there is for me  is to moving forward, and  realizing that  my family is the (not  the ’only’) reason I could think of that I’m here.

However, it’s always a different story of the new ‘G’,  speaking of which when I talk about my child, she is so bright and smooth especially on exploring a new world of living, well…starting with my gadgets, with which she can play a music (I meant music instrument), video, games, and make a quick call to me, though her writing is  still limited. She developed 3 (three) languages (not counting my mother tongue) and I was so pleased that her aspirations were musics, arts, and  books.  For me personally, books are like my best friend, cause thru it I can have insights, without any coercion, or any indoctrination  I was also  so glad that my only child already entered her 1st year of the elementary school,  which  means her golden years of early development is coming to a more mature phase.  I can’t wait to see her embracing the future, and I will be on her side making sure that she can deal with new things.

Honestly, for me career in the office is important but  is not so important as my family, seeing  my child  growing up with her full potential and watching her development makes my life rich. Seeing other children also touch my heart deeply, perhaps in the future I would involve more on child development and education cause I think this is the field that will decide the future of a generation.  Witnessing my child’s life has become the reflection on my life, and I wish I could be this way when I was a child.  But like I said, it’s all about moving forward that really matters, looking my life back was just a mere mirror reflection & learning to improve my life through the life of my child is also the other reason I’m here.

Work is everything that you do for life, but it’s not the only thing.  I believe my work should benefit to the world no matter how small it is, it is not about life recognition, it is not about pride of life, but it is about what I have done for my own life.  The good things about routines are teaching me about discipline and habit of persistence, but it can only go so far,  also  when I was caught with routines, it was quite hard to look work in different perspective, it was like I had to do it for not so obvious reasons. As a person, I want to look back and be proud of what I have done. From there,  I created the culture of my own, a good fundamental to move on and not being trapped by the cycle of life, if you know what I mean.

Allah Swt. comes to me thru His creation and His Words of prayer, and when I saw God in action I felt amazed, an indescribable feeling, even going beyond my comprehension. I thought I had to elaborate those actions so I can understand better and I could spend each and every moment of my life just to comprehend them more.  However, I’m still puzzled sometimes  (perhaps in a democratic way)  that for some people of having difficulty to understand the simple idea of His existence. Aside from that the God is like an abstract idea, lots of other gods manifest themselves, for instance the  god of  materialism (you can name like work ‘in some respect’, money ‘an easy scapegoat’,  and human lust ’in many forms’) and  logical thinking, they  have presented a greater challenge to the idea of God (to make the matter more complex when religions have become sources of conflicts among us).  These gods have reached a whole new sophistication, even I have avoided talking in regards, when everybody else doesn’t give a damn to it.

In addition, I believe a good marriage is built upon a good communication with my spouse. Trying to share on ideas, story of other success, concern, sometimes frustration,  or merely just be a good listener are the things that we communicate each and everyday. I’m thankful that I have a luxury of time being together, unlike others whom I saw are  separated either by their works or duties they can’t avoid not to. Some say what important in marriage intimacy  is a quality time, but I think a quality without a quantity is nonsense. I believe that my partner is helping me to understand the world better, it’s like sailing onto one’s ship, without understanding one another it’s highly unlikely that we can survive the storm and the ship could sink anytime.  For me it is still long journey to come, anything can happen, but I learn each and everyday that it is us who decide our destiny not the external condition that we are all experiencing.  It needs a good character, a really good one, a character built on trust and integrity that help us overcome problems we face our whole lives.

The universe of my spouse is to see others being happy.  She always try to find a way to make other people surrounding her change for the better and I always encourage her to write her aspirations no matter how little it is.  It is really not an easy task doing service improving other people quality of lives.  But in the business of services, I guess helping people around us  is part of the  job description.

Speaking of a material world, not everyone care on the idea of helping others,  but for me nowadays I learn to see whenever people are sincere  enough, especially by  the looking of their eyes, as if I dived deeply into the center of their hearts (since eyes are the windows of the heart), so I can distinguish between a meaningful eyes and empty one, perhaps the empty one is the only way to know whether people like or dislike, agree or disagree, care or not with you,  no more and no less –it’s that simple.  Sometimes, I did not believe on my ability to see through people’s hearts, but from time to time I embrace this development  through my life.  Perhaps the reason for this, is that I always try to remind myself for the good and positive things, the more positive I am the more I can see negativity around others, it is not a magic, it’s just a reflection of something you adore so much.

Life conflict is something I try to circumvent from others, when I sense it I know that I have to retreat or if not possible, try to go around with what I call it ‘a zero sum game’, so the fire will never go out of hand easily.  Even worse, sometimes I was between conflicts of two different sides. What I did is to agree on whatever they were trying to do, but what was different is how I handle on doing the job, making sure that this conflict didn’t go anywhere but to themselves.  Well, I believe being a good leader must have a sense of a conflict within his/her people, and work around to try resolving subtle matters. It is fascinating to learn what people really care and agree on anything in this ordinary life.

My life story are still going on, and I hope that my aspirations grow up next year so I can still talk about my life, and the story book of my life surely will not come to an end, until then…

Happy Birthday…